Seattle Yogini

Silver and Gold

Do you remember singing that song as a kid?

"Make new friends, but ke-ep the-e old.  One is silver and the other gold."

Last weekend we had dinner with some new potential-friends (silver).  It was the first time in quite a while that we've spent multiple hours with people we barely know.  I'm certainly not shy, and neither is Rob (he's more what I'd call "reserved"), but we are no longer the social butterflies we (well, ME, actually) used to be.  We enjoy being at home, making each other laugh, and hanging out in cozy clothes till we can't stand it anymore and have to go out in public.  We often do these fun, homey things with our close friends, K & H (gold - it's so delightful to have a "couple friend(s)" with whom we're comfortable enough to just laze around the house), but new people are different.  With new people, we have to pace ourselves and make sure we don't give them the book all at once.

"The book?" you ask.  Yes, the book.  The book of our lives.  Haven't you ever met someone and, within about five minutes, felt like you knew WAY too much about them already?  That person would be a book giver.  They didn't just give you the introduction, or the "special thanks" sections, or even a cliff's notes version.  No, no.  The book giver bestows upon you chapters one through xxx, whether you're ready for it or not.  Rob and I, on the other hand, try to give just one chapter (or so) at a time, so as not to overwhelm the new person in our lives with details and difficult-to-follow divergences.

The catch, though (there had to be one, right?) is that sometimes new people want more than chapter one.  They have QUESTIONS, and I, for one, have had a very...um...variegated life in my few decades on this earth.  A seemingly simple question, like "So, how'd you become a yoga teacher?" is actually quite loaded, and I have to be on my toes to discern how much of the answer this person is ready to hear AND how much of my story I feel like sharing - knowing that one answer will likely lead to another question.  Certain answers belie other interesting tidbits of my life, you see, so in answer to the above question, I might include a reference to my military years.  After all, my first teaching gig was during the war, while I was stationed at Prince Sultan Air Base, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.  WHOA, BACK UP the person's face tells me...MILITARY YEARS?!?!?!  WAR?!?!?!  SAUDI ARABIA?!?!?!  But you're a YOGA TEACHER!

Yeah.  Well.  If I get too far into it, I pretty much need to provide some sort of chart or other visual aid to show the wheres & whens & whos of my life.  Then I feel like I hogged the conversation, and didn't get to know anything about my hostess at all.  So I try to stick with chapters, and sometimes will even tell the new person "We'll just have to get together for tea or something if you want to hear more about THAT."

So, anyway, our evening of happily getting to know not one but two new couples (who already know each other pretty well) was fun, but tiring.  We had a wonderful meal, played Apples to Apples - a game that is VERY fun, and chatted.  Before I knew it, Rob (who had just gotten over some kind of cold from earlier in the week) was making the "I'm exhausted" face, and it was time to excuse ourselves and walk back home.  I'm glad to know more people on our street, and hope to get to know them even better.  I imagine I'll just take it one chapter at a time...

A Great Find!

So, yesterday I finally got fed up with my foot hurting.  I tripped on Christmas, twisting my foot (not the ankle, the actual foot) pretty badly.  I iced, elevated, and rested for a couple of days.  I have soaked it in hot water, massaged it, had my chiropractor mess with it, and worked in probably a whole bottle's worth of Sunbreeze oil.  Still, every morning I am slightly hobbled until the foot warms up and the stiffness eases.  It starts to feel better, then I walk too quickly or use it in a certain way (which I've finally pinpointed, and which - of course - is a common movement in yoga) and it "flares up" again.

I had gotten to the point where I was just used to the pain, which is not the same as healing.  I understand that a foot can take a very long time to heal, what with having to use it and all, but after three months I'm ready to try something new.  Yoga Centers sells some Tattva's Herbs products, one of which comes highly recommended for injuries such as mine.  It's called Maha Vishgarbha Oil, and it's an ancient Ayurvedic massage blend designed to alleviate "stiffness, pain and inflamation of joints and muscles, and is useful in speeding the recovery process from injury."  My teacher talks about it a lot, but it simply had not occured to me to try it until yesterday.

Some companies' Maha Vishgarbha Oil is quite red/brown and stains a lot, but the Tattva's Herbs wasn't.  It's just a little brown and didn't stain the sock I put on afterwards at all.  It is recommended to massage in a liberal amount before bed, so that the area can soak up the oil without being disturbed.  Well, I didn't read that until this morning (typical of me to do something without actually reading all of the instructions first, but that's for another blog entry), so I didn't use a "liberal" amount, but I did massage it in before bed.

This morning, the foot felt different.  It felt like silence after a loud rock concert.  There was a lack of stimulus (in this case, pain) which felt like a great relief.  I got out of bed in my usual manner, and realized that while the pain was not completely gone, it had subsided enough that I wasn't limping.  My first limp-free morning in three months!  I came downstairs and put some more oil on.  I'll keep it up for a week and let you know how it goes.  Keep in mind, sometimes these things take longer than a week; I don't plan on stopping the oil in a week.  I'm just saying that I'll update you in one week's time.  Wish me happy healing!

Confused

This three-weeks early Daylight Saving Time thing has all three of us confused!  It's almost 6:30 pm but it looks and feels like 4:00.  Last night, I think that the sun set at almost 7:30!

We're far enough north that in the summertime the sun starts rising at about 4:30 am and doesn't fully set until around 10 pm.  In the winter, you can just switch those times and know that it's dark most of the time.  So we're no strangers to long, light evenings - but not this early in the year!  It's really freaking us out!

I apologize for the late post.  I spent many hours on the computer (and on-line) today, but it was all updating my studio's website.  I learned to make new charts, and even to add rows and columns!  I updated some old text that needed to be changed and put in new class descriptions.  I feel rather clever, and am hedging my bets by keeping this post short and getting on with less technically-inclined work.

Sock 2 of 2, here I come!

Are You a Waiter or a Changer?

Yesterday on NPR I heard parts of an interview with singer/songwriter John Mayer.  In it, he talks about his song "Waiting on the World to Change".  As the title of the song implies, the lyrics are more about passive observation about the state of things rather than active reaction to what we see.  It is the opposite of Ghandi's advice to "Be the change you wish to see in the world", and I can only hope that it is just a song and not a representation of young people's attitude regarding the state of the world.

Whereas Ghandi's quote encourages personal responsibility, Mayer's song represents the "not my problem" perspective of modern western culture.  There is no sense of the personal being political, but rather a "why bother" attitude.  Do people really believe that everything going on in the world - climate change, politics, lack of diplomacy, war, famine, violence, illiteracy, has nothing to do with them?  As part of this macrocosm, are we not part and parcel to its overall state?  Each atom that makes up a molecule is responsible for that molecule being whatever it is.  This holds true on the larger, human-wide scale as well.  We must not look around us at the atrocities going on everyday and kid ourselves into thinking it does not represent us.  In fact, it is quite simply a large scale representation of many of the struggles going on within each and every one of us.

Look at it this way:  if you have constant negative thoughts toward yourself, if you treat your body badly, if you think you aren't worthwhile...that is a small scale version of the struggles going on in the world.  How can people who are not loving toward themselves ever hope to be loving toward people, the earth and all of creation?

We cannot afford to wait for the world to change.  Any change MUST begin with us.  It will ripple out into the world, creating widespread effects that benefit everyone.  Each choice we make has an effect outside of our own circle, from the way we earn and spend our money to the way we speak to our children.  Do not take your choices for granted, I implore you.  Treat every choice as if it will have long-standing, world-wide effects, and allow your heart to guide you.

Don't get me wrong - becoming bogged down by the state of the world will not help it, and will probably only serve to make you feel helpless.  Yes, things are grave, but by taking care of the people nearest and dearest to us, we will make a difference on a greater scale.  If you become hopeless in the face of a great challenge, then no work toward change will take place (so you might as well wait for the world to change).  On the other hand, if you choose the places where you can apply your skills, knowledge and love, slowly but surely we will change the world.  Let's not make it wait on us.

Yogini: 8, Zoombrowser EX: 0 HA!

Let's all pause for a moment and bask in the glory of this small victory.  Yesterday, I couldn't figure out how to get this picture of my sweet, sleepy buddy off of the camera and onto my laptop.  This morning, I had my wits about me and asked my husband for help.  He walked me through the process again, very patiently I might add, and even showed me a couple of tricks (the Zoombrowser is finicky).  So, now I can post some pictures of recent accomplishments that have been sitting in the camera for a couple of weeks.  Pepare yourself...

Remember this teaser photo of C's birthday present?

Well, here's a front and back view of the whole, beautiful thing.  It's the Shoulder Cozy from Wrap Style.  I really like that book, and loved this particular project.  C says that it feels like a great big hug from me.  A perfect b-day gift, if I do say so myself!

Check out the cool button!

 

Now, about sock 1 of 2...the picture shows it almost to the toe decreases.  I will have you know that it is now finished (ends sewn in and everything!), and sock 2 of 2 is past the ribbing stage.  So, use your imagination 'cause this morning I don't have it in me to battle with the camera anymore.

Because I am a detail-oriented person, I made sure to start 2 of 2 with the same section of yarn, so that the self-striping goodness will match 1 of 2.  So far so good!

I'm using the anti-pattern from Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's Knitting Rules! book.  She basically describes, in general terms, how to knit a sock without a pattern.  She also provides a pattern, just in case that's what works better for you, but I found that knitting from the description set me free from the "need" to use a pattern.  Since I had to make some sizing adjustments, that was essential.  Now, having only ever knit two pairs of socks before, I feel like I could pretty much knit a basic sock for anybody without needing a pattern.  This, dear reader, is a BIG step for me.  Since learning to knit I have tended toward patterns (my personality also "tends" toward control - something I'm always working on, yogically speaking) and only in the last six months or so have I started doing things free hand and blatantly changing pattern directions as desired.  This is just one more example of important personal lessons I have learned from my knitting.  It ain't just about the socks, after all!  :-)

Last but not least, here's a bag I made over Christmas, loosely following the pattern from Stitch 'n Bitch:

Here it is pre-felting...

and afterwards.  I used Manos del Uruguay 100% wool.  We have a top-loading washer, so if you zoom in you will see that it isn't super felted, but I was satisfied with the size and the degree of felting, so I left it at that.  My favorite part is the integrated handles, so I can stuff the bag silly and don't have to worry about them coming unsewn.  If I make this bag again, though, I will make the handles a little shorter.  They're kind of saggy, and I'd like them to be a little less, well, big than they are.  Cool stripes, no?

Okay, that concludes our knitting tour for the day.  When barney's closer to completion, Anouk's underway, and sock 2 of 2 is complete, I'll provide another photo essay.  Oh, and just wait till Clapotis gets on the needles...

So far, so good...

Well, my new organized version of me is off to a good start this week.  Instead of keeping a "mental note" of all the e-mails, phone calls, etc. that need attention this week, I took the 2.3 seconds required to write the list down.  Go figure.  Then I picked up the phone, and within 3 minutes I had touched base with three people who I really needed to contact - our amazing duo of kitchen designers (they don't just do kitchens - check them out here!), our stockbrocker and our accountant.  Now my mind is free of that little list, and I feel pretty darned good.

Mondays are pretty easy days around here, but today I woke up not feeling so great.  I walked down to the studio, got organized for class, and as 8:30 drew near I found that part of me was thinking, "Maybe nobody's coming.  Hmmmm, then I could go back to bed."  Please note that I am not ill, and I slept great last night.  I just have some crampiness that makes me want to sit down and chill.  Thankfully, all of my students came, and class was great.

That's one of the wonderful things about what I do.  A student, or in this case the teacher, might arrive for class feeling "not so great".  Almost always, by the end of the hour and a half, we all feel more relaxed, more pulled together, and generally happier.  That's how it was for me this morning.  During class the cramps abated, we worked hard but with joy and light hearts, and by the time Savasana rolled around, everyone - including me - was happy.  Thank you, my Gentle ladies, for turning my morning around!

Now, it's just me and the buddy for a couple of hours while Rob's in class.  We tossed the caber (that's our code for playing frisbee) so now Sirius looks kind of like this (darn!  I can't get the ZoomBrowser thing to work again.  Imagine a content, sleepy-faced young lab basking in the sunshine).  I'm going to finish sock 1 of 2 today, then work some more on sleeve 2 of 2 for barney the purple sweater.  My carrot is winding the yarn for Anouk, which I have yet to do because once it's balled, I'll start knitting 'er and I have other things to complete first!

Also in the works today: Creamy Garlic-Potato Soup from the latest COOK'S ILLUSTRATED.  I love this magazine, as it appeals to my analytical/scientific mind while satisfying my creativity AND the foodie in me.  Potatoes are gifts from God, as far as I'm concerned, and making them into a soup with garlic and cream is like some kind of divine expression of love.  Since I don't teach tonight, I can be as screaming-banshee (you might want to adjust the volume before you press PLAY) garlicky as I wanna be.  Yee haw!

Priorities

Whew!  Ever since I returned from Hawaii, I have felt a bit overwhelmed by the comings and goings of my life.  This is particularly interesting, because I decided to slow my life down substantially upon getting out of the Air Force in 2004.  I wanted a change of pace, and to have the space (in my life AND in my mind) to explore interests and carve out the kind of life I want to live - rather than the kind my culture tells me I should live.

In Hawaii, my schedule was, of course, dictated by the retreat schedule.  This was fine by me because every day was spent doing things I love:  asana, meditation, exploring my life, exploring my surroundings, eating good food, chatting with great people, knitting and reading.  Except for the fact that my husband wasn't there to experience it all with me, I wouldn't change a thing.

My life at home is actually quite similar, except that I have more responsibilities.  Also, at home I focus a great deal of energy on professional growth, whereas in Hawaii it was all about personal growth.  (As an aside:  as a yoga teacher, I believe that my personal growth guides my professional life, but right now that's beside the point)  Since personal growth can be a little harder to measure, I felt that I was meeting my goals just by being there and breathing through the process.  :-)  Here at home, professional growth has many measuring sticks (such as teaching, the studio, writing, Sunrider, my education), and many of them are vying for top priority.

Lately there are many avenues that I'd like to explore, and as a go-getter personality, I struggle with accepting the fact that I don't have to explore them all at once.  There will be time, and now is NOT the time to over-extend myself.  Likewise, I tend to latch on to an idea and want to do it ASAP!  Again, I recognize that this is not only unnecessary, but often detrimental to the overall level of ease in my life.  If I followed through ASAP with every single good idea (at least in my mind!) that I have, I'd never get anything else done - just look at the number of "in progress" knitting projects I have!  What can I say?  I recognize these tendencies and am working on them.  Beating myself up over them will not help.

This weekend I've tried to step back and observe my reactions and behaviors over the last few weeks.  I've felt overwhelmed by the things I think that I *ought*  to do, and yet I haven't really gotten very much done at all.  Huh.  I've felt as if my list of things to do was going to wrap me up like a boa constrictor, but I've barely lifted a finger to get any of it accomplished.  I find this very interesting.  If I were truly stressed about this figurative list, wouldn't I have set about taking care of things by now?

I used to keep an actual list of things to do each day.  This was partly a survival tactice:  for over a year I was the Executive Officer (that's like a personal assistant, for lack of a better civilian term) to my squadron commander (that's like the boss of a large corporation, or hospital or something) both in Korea and at Fairchild AFB.  I wasn't just in charge of my own life, I had to make sure that my boss' professional life (and occasionally personal, as well) went as smoothly as possible.  For me, that required a lot of lists.  The good news was that I have the right personality for such a job and I was very good at it.  The bad news is that I can really only run one person's life at a time, so while theirs was running along as smoothly as I could make it, mine was , ummmmm, bumpy.  The ability to hyper-organize was seen as a great gift, and a professional accomplishment - as if the more I could keep track of the better job I was doing, and the more important I felt.

It probably isn't surprising, then, that up until six months ago I still used my "book" (day-timer thingie) as if I were my own Executive Officer.  After the ectopic this summer everything got turned upside down, and very few things felt important enough to mess with.  But now, I seem to have gone full reverse, and just have post-it notes and scraps of papers with appointments written on them lying about.  I went from overly organized to mimicking the cartoon character Cathy.  I clearly need to find a balance between up-tight assistant mode and lackadasical (sp?) scrap-paper losing mode.  Too much organization is simply no longer a necessity in my life, but a relative lack of it is stressing me out!

One of the best lessons I learned in the military was that when we set parameters we can actually experience a greater sense of freedom.  When you know what your limits are, you are free to do pretty much whatever fits within those limits.  After talking with Rob about this sense of looming tasks, I've decided to re-institute the organization-savvy element of myself, without letting it take over.  I will update my book, empty my e-mail inbox, update my contacts and smooth out the wrinkles of my life.  I will try to get back to appointing certain days of the week with specific responsibilities (for example:  Mondays used to be for housecleaning and laundry, but lately housecleaning gets done in bits and pieces, making us feel like the house is never actually clean) without regimenting my schedule and making it rigid.  I'm hoping that by getting back to that sense of knowing what I expect of myself each day (above and beyond the BIG things I expect of myself), I will be able to respond to my responsibilities in a way that feels free and joyful, rather than harried and guilt-ridden.

Greater freedom is what I seek.  For now, at least, that means setting some priorities, getting organized, and taking care of business.

Yoga for (insert concern here)

The knitting has been very hit-or-miss lately.  The sleeve of the barney sweater seems to go on and on (hence the nickname).  So, to up the entertainment value of my knitting, I pulled out the self-striping sock yarn I stashed a couple of months ago.  The sock has provided a very "Karate Kid" experience...cast on, pull off, cast on, pull off.  I got the heel turned before I realized that it was pouchy and weird at the ankle, so I started over.  I have taken the opporunity to teach myself to pick.  I have heretofor been a dedicated thrower, but I've noticed that pickers can really move.  They seem to get a lot more stitches covered in a lot less time than my (admittedly deft) throwing does.  Oh, and the whipped cream on my multiple project sundae is a second version of a great lacy beanie.  I'll post its lovely photo later.

Off the needles, on to yoga:  I heard a great segment on NPR this morning about two issues near and dear to my heart:  yoga for veterans and meditation for pain management.  It is important to mention that, of course, veterans and people living with chronic pain can get a lot out of any yoga class (assuming its taught by a well-trained instructor).  In my experience, however, people with specific needs tend to feel more comfortable, and therefore get more benefit, from a class designed just for them.  There is a comraderie (or at least the potential for it) that develops when people who have been to war, for example, attend a class with students who have similar experiences.  Those living with chronic pain may find a level of understanding and acceptance from their classmates that they don't feel in a general yoga class.

Another important thing to recognize in seeking a specialized class to meet your needs is that, while yoga is a wonderful tool for health and healing, you may require additional care from other resources.  As a Purna Yoga teacher, I am trained to use yoga asanas, meditation, applied philosophy and more as tools to help students achieve optimum health.  Working together, the student and I can come up with many practices that, used regularly, will help them improve their condition, or at least their ability to live a full, joyful life even with that condition.  I am not a chiropractor, massage therapist or doctor.  My job is to teach Purna Yoga and offer its wisdom so that the student may choose what fits them best.  Knowing when to refer is key, and I happily refer practitioners I trust when the situation requires it.  I am a student of health and wellness, so I offer insight into research studies, etc. so that students may become motivated to investigate as many opportunities as possible.  Often, there is no single solution, but a combination of practices that helps a person live more freely.

If you have a specific condition, consider looking for a yoga class that is geared toward your needs.  If no such class is offered in your area, gather a group of friends and hire a teacher just for your group.  Alternatively, try private instruction.  Imagine a whole hour with a person who can help you tailor your practice to suit the needs of your body, mind and spirit.  Remember, even if yoga doesn't "cure" you (though you might be surprised), it has the potential to help you find the peace, joy and love that is inherent to the human condition.  We have the capacity to free ourselves from suffering, sometimes we just need some help finding our way.