Seattle Yogini

At Least There Was Knitting....

Well, I dutifully rested this weekend.  I used my castor oil pack thrice daily and generally took it easy.  Since most of the day found me sitting with my feet up and a hot water bottle on my belly, I had plenty of time to wrap up some knitting such as my Sockapalooza pal's socks (just in time!) and a very important swatch.  On Saturday night, the sock(s) looked like this:

(Sirius the dog clearly approves!)

Yesterday I finished them up, as well as the swatch (which looks suspiciously like a child's hat...hahaha), washed and blocked them.  They're still drying, but here's a quick peek:

Now, I have read that you don't really have to block socks, but since these have a lovely wavy cuff which wasn't doing itself justice (they rolled down on themselves) I thought a nice blocking was in order.  No need to pin, just patted, pulled, and situated until I was pleased with their appearance.  :-)

The swatch is for Rob's sweater.  We have two bags of his yarn of choice (Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran in "blue"), and I used a previously purchased ball to swatch the hat.  I'm going to use Elizabeth Zimmerman's formula for a basic top-down raglan knit in-the-round.  I never get good results (and I find the process very irritating) faking in-the-round knitting with straight needles (you know, sort of like doing an i-cord but leaving the yarn long in the back so that it doesn't pull into a cord).  So I decided to make a basic little hat and see how it goes.  If it's the gauge he wants, then some lucky little person will get a very soft, cozy hat donated to them this winter (maybe I'll jazz it up with embroidered snowflakes or lazy daisies).  If not, then I'll frog it and redo, to the same end result.

For perhaps the first time since I wandered into the wonderful world of knitting, I am going to focus on one project (Green Gable), resisting all temptations to start other things (specifics to be revealed later, but I'm thinking more socks...and sweaters - for me!).  It's the only way I'll stand a chance of actually wearing it this year.  Hopefully it'll be done by this weekend, I'm itching to get a jump on this!

Uninvited Guest: Ovarian Cyst

I had hoped to post more regularly this week, as I had hoped to do lots of things like finish my Sockapalooza pal's second sock, the dress I'm working on, etc.  Unfortunately, this week brought other excitement...

I'll go into details below (for those of you who, like me, are fascinated by such things), but the basic update is that it seems I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured.  These are generally not dangerous (it's kind of like having a pimple on your ovary), though it can be quite uncomfortable, and, given my history - alarming.  I'm resting and following my ND's advice: castor oil packs along with a hot water bottle applied to the lower abdomen 3 times daily.  It's really a luxurious treatment plan, I must say, as it feels really soothing.  :-)

Okay, now the details:  Around Thursday or Friday of last week I had a sharp, but short-lived pain in my lower right abdomen.  I thought, "Huh.  Maybe I just ovulated.  Strange that it would hurt quite so much, but....who knows?"  Then on Sunday I noticed an increase in discharge that I initially thought was fertile-quality cervical mucus (forgetting that I had already had what I thought was ovulatory pain a few days before).  I was past my fertile phase, though, or at least I thought that I was.  Given that these things can change, I just kept an eye on things.  I wasn't in any discomfort, but I was concerned because this discharge was tinged with blood.  Again, this is not necessarily alarming, as many women experience the occasional bloody discharge with ovulation.

Rob and I googled and learned that, in general, none of my symptoms (mainly the discharge) were worrisome unless they lasted more than two days.  When day three came along, and I was still seeing the same discharge, I thought, "OK, time to consider calling my ND."  By this time I was also having pelvic discomfort.  Not necessarily pain (as in sharp, hot, or searing) but general tenderness like when I'm bloated....minus the bloat.  It hurt to walk quickly, as the reverberations up the body jiggled my innards, and I noticed a definite increase in the discomfort when sitting down.  As my bum settled into a chair, the change in position of the pelvis, along with it the change in pressure on the internal organs, made me wince a bit.  That evening (Tuesday), I passed a strange, lima-bean sized mass.  I decided a trip to my doc was definitely warranted, and called first thing Wednesday morning to see if she could fit me in on the same day.

By Wednesday the discomfort was greater.  My ND did a pelvic exam, took swabs, had me pee in a cup, and wrote a scrip for a blood draw.  She tried to get me a same-day ultrasound but, amazingly, we couldn't get one.  In spite of my symptoms and my history!  It strikes me as odd that ultrasound is widely used as a diagnostic tool, but that you can't get one easily in an emergency!  I wonder what kind of strings were pulled last year to get me the one that saved my life?  After our appointment, Rob and I were more worried than ever, as I had a great deal of discomfort throughout the exam, and our imaginations were running wild.

We went back to the doctor yesterday to get the blood results and discuss a likely diagnosis and treatment plan.  We were really worried that I might be pregnant.  Don't get me wrong - we really want to conceive again, but given the general badness of my physical state, we didn't want our baby involved in whatever my body was going through.  Not again.  So, we were relieved to find that the pregnancy tests were negative, as were the tests for infection.  Hmmmm, a mystery.

The missing piece was that a couple of months ago I did a female hormone panel.  I wanted to make sure that my endocrine system had recuperated after everything it went through with the ectopic, chemotherapy, etc. last year.  My results showed slightly elevated testosterone, which apparently indicates slightly elevated estrogen.  This is a symptom of, among other things, ovarian cysts.  Since I had no other symptoms at the time, my doc and I just filed that away in our minds as something to keep an eye on, and that was that.  Given my symptoms this week, and the fact that now it seems to be resolving, we believe that I did, in fact, have a cyst and that the discharge was the result of it rupturing.  As I learned last year, any time there's an inflammation in the tight quarters of the pelvis, especially if it's accompanied by the by-products of something breaking down on the cellular level, there is likely to be wide-spread irritation, inflammation, and therefore pain.

So, I have my ultrasound appointment for Tuesday.  If I'm still in discomfort by Monday, I'll keep it.  If not, then I'll cancel.  So far, this castor oil/hot water bottle treatment is making a big difference!  I've been told to rest, use my castor oil packs and generally take it easy.  Now that is a treatment I can live with!

Yoga Teachers Targeted for Fraud Scams

This message is to warn my fellow yoga teachers about a scam that is going around.  I wouldn't be surprised if it is more widespread than yoga, because really anyone in alternative health care fields could be a target.  Heck, people with small on-line stores (fellow knitters) could even be approached by such a fraud attempt!

A couple of weeks ago I received an e-mail inquiry that was a little odd, but not overly suspicious.  A woman calling herself Mrs. XX, a massage therapist in Italy, wrote to ask about my yoga therapy practice, and if I would be available to provide a month's worth of 3-times weekly, hour-long private instruction sessions to a client of hers.  This client, Mr. XY, would be in my area on a modeling job, and since she could not come along she offered to set him up with a therapist here.

Now, it is strange that he would want yoga therapy, if what he is accustomed to is massage therapy - very available in any major city in the U.S.  Still, it is not unusual for language barriers and general misunderstanding of the work I do to confuse otherwise simple matters, so I responded.  I told her that while I would be happy to provide private yoga instruction for Mr. XY, I would be on vacation for most of August and therefore unavailable to do so.  Depending upon his dates of travel, I might be able to offer my services during a portion of his stay.

This morning, I got a reply that made so many red flags go up that I made some phone calls.  Mrs. XX said that all sounded great, and that Mr. XY would be in contact with me with his flight information, etc. and could I send them the total and some other information  (Note:  I'm not his personal assistant, I don't really care what his flight arrangements are.  If I were to do private instruction, then he'd make his appointments for said instruction at my studio for whatever dates work for him.  How/when/he arrives and where he stays is none of my concern).  Then, the kicker:  he wanted to pay up front, had money orders for this purpose, and wondered if "he could trust me to do him a favor" (????).  It seems that he is having trouble getting some of his equipment from Dubai (for a job in the U.S.?  As if there aren't models here with whatever "equipment" he might need?).  Would I please accept $4, 880 in U.S. money orders, deposit it all, then send Dubai a wire transfer for the portion not allocated for my services? 

Ummmm, lemme think.....NO!

I called my colleagues and friends, the ladies who make Yoga Centers go.  They are fabulous business women, savvy and informed.  I said "this smells fishy, I think I'm being scammed".  They said, "Yes, it is fishy.  You are being scammed."  Sigh.  They have had similar things attempted:  someone wants to make a large package purchase (say, a year's worth of yoga classes), then "accidentally" overpays and wants you to refund the difference.  In the meantime, their check was fraudulent, and you end up out hundreds or thousands of dollars.

Please, if you are contacted by someone with a roundabout issue such as this, do NOT engage them!  A simple "Thank you for your message.  I have forwarded it to (my local) Police Department as well as the FBI, who may be contacting you regarding your fraud attempt." should work.  Remember, just because we are in the business of helping people relax, feel good, etc., does not mean we should be lax in our business practices or let our guard down.

Keep looking for the good in people, so that when faced with the bad...you'll recognize it for what it is.

Added later, same day:  take a look at this link.  There are some great tips for double-checking the veracity of inquiries.  Thankfully, my interaction with these scammers was short-lived, but clearly I am not alone....

Green Gable Update

Since last I wrote about Green Gable, I've made quite a bit of progress:

I went ahead and made increases for the hips, which turned out well.  I think that overall it needs another inch of length (at least)...right now it kind of looks like I'm wearing a bright turquoise lego block.  Grrrr....  This was a good lesson in figuring out a length that elongates my short waist without overwhelming my small frame.  I'll be using a favorite fitted t-shirt as my guide now.

To remedy the situation my plan is to:
1.  frog the ribbing
2.  add at least an inch of stockinette (not sure whether I need to continue with the increases or not...)
3.  go back to the 1x1 ribbing the pattern calls for (I did 2x2 and I think it's too conspicuous)
4.  finish the left sleeve
5.  add crochet chain stitch border to the neckline

All of that must wait, however, until I have at least turned the heel on my sock pal's second sock!  :-)  Thankfully, we're back to spring-like weather here in Seattle - rainy and a cool mid-50s - so I should be able to wear this before summer really sets in.

Sweet Little Lies

Do you remember that song, "...Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies..." by Fleetwood Mac?

Last night in meditation we worked on shedding our excuses for not doing what we know to be true/wise/loving/our path.  Excuses are merely lies we tell ourselves - the ego aspect interfering with the spirit's path.  Obvious excuses include things like "I don't have time to meditate/pray/go to church/study/practice."  "It won't matter anyway, it's just this once."  "I've already got it taken care of, so I don't need to do it anymore."  Out of habit and/or laziness, we respond more readily to the lies and wants of the ego than we do to the truth of the spirit.  Plus, it's generally easier to do what the ego wants, as it tends to demand things that will satisfy our superficial wants, needs and desires (i.e. more money, food, approval, power, sex, etc.).  The spirit, however, demands more from us.  In order for us to grow and embody more of our True Nature, we have to let go of the misguided ideas our egos have told us for years and learn to listen to the quieter voice of the spirit.

Mucking through the things I tell myself will be a challenge.  After years of yoga practice and self-study, I am honed for this kind of introspection and honesty.  That does not mean that I will be spared the discomfort of shining the bright light of clarity on my dark hiding places.  For a number of reasons I grew up to be a pleaser.  Interestingly, my parents consciously raised me to be an independent thinker, and I am by nature quite strong willed.  Unfortunately culture, family dynamics, and many other old stories overpowered those positive traits for a long time, ensuring that I would disregard myself in favor of others (mistakenly thinking on some level that it would end in a positive result for me, such as feeling loved).  For most of my life I sought the approval and acceptance of others, even if it cost my own approval of myself.  It was easier to sacrifice my own deep sense of self-worth for the superficial sense of value I got from pleasing others - being what they wanted me to be and, in turn, receiving their friendship and "love".

That has changed a lot in the past few years, as I have made major changes in my life and become a serious yoga practitioner.  During last night's meditation I got a big ol' booster shot of clarity and realized that I'm still stuck in this pattern to some extent.  (Remember samskaras?)  There are a couple of issues going on for me right now that I have been letting fly because they "aren't a big deal", when the truth is that they're really irritating me and, frankly, are the result of things being done poorly.  The fact of the matter is I don't want to be seen as "making a big deal" out of something that others don't see as important.  My inner voice is getting louder and more persistent as it patiently repeats "Yes, but it's important to ME".

So after my shower this morning I took care of a couple of issues that had been bothering me but that I didn't want to address because I didn't want to look like the "bad guy".  It made such a huge difference for me to speak with the person who was responsible for fixing the situation and say, "This is wrong.  I am not pleased.  I have been patient.  How can we fix it?"  Everything out in the open without laying blame and guess what - I realized through that experience that bringing up the fact that someone has done wrong does NOT MAKE YOU THE BAD GUY!  Standing up and telling them what for - that's called telling the truth and demanding appropriate behavior.  Everybody benefits, even if it's an uncomfortable process.

So, no more lies.  No more excuses.  If the lessons I learn from this endeavor are anything like the one I learned this morning, then this is going to be a fabulous trip!

When to Open...

to uncomfortable feelings, embracing and integrating them, that is the question.

The other day in one of my yoga classes, when I asked if anyone had a particular concern or issue (physical, emotional, mental or spiritual) they wanted to address in class, a student responded with "I'm feeling very vulnerable today."

What strength, to be able to recognize and then state (out loud, in front of other people) that feeling!  It provided the perfect opportunity for a little discussion about applied yogic philosophy.  I believe that information without action is useless - if we do not use the information we gather, then what use is it to us?  Therefore, the study of yogic philosophy must be undertaken with the intention to put it to use in one's life, otherwise it is just more useless theory.

So I suggested two approaches for our asana class that day:  (1) use standing poses to create a sense of groundedness, strength and stability so that they could experience the vulnerability while staying present to it or (2) use backbends to create a sense of confidence and strength while opening the heart center (a.k.a. the heart chakra - the physical seat of the soul in the body), allowing for more of the "big You" to come into the body, which would envelop the vulnerability in wisdom, compassion, love and grace...essentially transforming it.  After my explanations of both approaches, the student said "Backbends, please" and off we went.

This was my way of helping all of the students present learn to identify their feelings, embrace them, and figure out how to nurture themselves into harmony using yogic tools.  Sometimes, we need to open to /increase the potential for uncomfortable feelings (backbends can make a practitioner feel vulnerable because of the very openness they create in the whole length of the front body) and welcome those feelings in so that we can go beyond them, easing our way into equanimity.  Other times, it isn't the opening that is needed, but a rooting/grounding practice to help the practitioner feel more stable and secure, like they can experience this feeling without getting wrapped up in it and "blowing away".  By offering the student an option, they were able to go inside more deeply and discern which of the two approaches, opening or rooting, would benefit them at that moment.

This, my friends, is much more important than whether or not you can touch your toes.  Yoga is about living more gracefully and harmoniously - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  The things we learn in class, just like the yogic philosophy, can and should be applied to everyday life in order to get the most out of them.

Fire in the Hold!

Ah, the heat of summer is upon us here in Seattle - much earlier than usual.  It is also much hotter than ever, maybe even record-breaking.  Today we are in Red Flag conditions, which means that due to the heat (high of 97 F today!!!), wind, and very low humidity the possibility for fires is frighteningly high.  Seattle summers are normally warm and dry, which makes us ever-thankful for the very wet fall, winter and spring (which in turn makes us thankful for the dry "hot" summer - a lovely cycle, don't you think?).  This year we had relatively little spring rain, however, so the lawns have died extra early.

In our home, we're conserving water and electricity as best we can.  We have drought-tolerant landscaping in our front garden, and we always let the grass die in the backyard.  I'm catching dishwashing water and using it to water flowers, etc.  We follow the "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" dictum with regards to toilet flushing (within what we consider a reasonable degree of hygiene, of course).  We don't do laundry during the day ("peak hours" at the electric company, so each watt costs a little bit more).  Thankfully, we're far enough north that we have about 15 hours or so of daylight, so it's easy to keep the lights off (which also helps keep the house cooler).  Few people have air conditioning, we just throw open the windows and pray for a breeze!  As I type this, at 12:45pm, it is 83 F in the house.

Summer is the season of Pitta (Fire) Nature, one of the three doshas described by Ayurveda.  Hot, tumultuous, and - if imbalanced due to its own excesses - easy to ignite (a.k.a. irritate).  For those of us with a predominant pitta constitution, summers require a great deal of adjustments in order to maintain equilibrium.  For me, an imbalance caused by the heat doesn't merely wilt me, it makes me quick to anger, lose my appetite, have difficulty getting physically/mentally/emotionally comfortable, and lose my train of thought (generally muddling my mind).  Any additional heating, from my yoga practice for example, exacerbates these symptoms.

So, I find ways to cool off, on many levels:  reading more, engaging in physical activity primarily in early morning or late evening, keeping to myself during the hottest hours of the day (when I'm more easily irritated), taking a siesta, eating lots of melon and other cooling foods and using oils on my body that are meant to cool (such as coconut oil).  As for my yoga practice, summer is not the time for heating practices:  Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations), backbends and oftentimes standing poses all make me feel too hot too fast, rather than helping me achieve the harmony I seek.  Over years and years of practice and self-exploration, I have learned what things help and what things (tend to - it can always change!) provoke my pitta nature.  I choose forward bends, restorative poses, and quietening pranayama (breath work) to help release the steam building up inside without "blowing my top" like an unwatched pressure cooker.

Of course, people with a predominant Vata (Air) Nature or Kappha (Earth) Nature will not generally have the same summertime needs as me.  Still, since we are all composed of varying mixtures of the doshas, my classes reflect the season.  I teach in harmony with the weather, and the needs of my students.  If everyone shows up looking flushed and wilted, I teach them calming, cooling poses to help ease the heat.  Even those who are not predominantly pitta can have a pitta imbalance in weather like this.

What do you do to keep your cool throughout the summer?  How do you know if you're being affected by the heat (i.e.  what are your symptoms)?  Does the heat make you feel better or worse?

My Green Gable

If Anne had worn a shirt like this, I'm quite sure that Gilbert wouldn't have played so hard to get.

Rob's response:  "Wow!  That's a very flattering shirt, honey!"
My response:  "Whoa, I had no idea.  Those Zephyr gals make awesome patterns!"  :-)

Clearly I am not done with this shirt.  I did one sleeve in order to fend off the boredom of endless rounds of stockinette stitch.  It was also a way to test drive the sleeve length while trying on the shirt for general fit.  I like the sleeve length, which is exactly the length the pattern suggests.  I have decided to follow Silvia's advice and add hip increases as I add the final length to the top.  I'm guessing I'll add another inch or so before the ribbing, which I will make a bit longer than the pattern suggests, again per Silvia's suggestion (she did a similar Zephyr pattern, Rusted Root).  I am short waisted in addition to being petite, so my "regular length" shirt could be a mid-riff style for a normal-sized person.  I'm very happy to be able to tailor this shirt (knit from the top down, which is GREAT for my needs) to my body's proportions!  I will also do a crochet chain-stitch around the neckline, to stabilize that slumping lace edge.

Completed this weekend:  Dad's Fathers' Day socks (finally).  I haven't sewn in the ends, as I want him to try them on before I snip and weave - I have a feeling that I bound off a wee bit too tightly for his high instep/angle to get through.  I did it as loosely as I could manage, but still...How do you bind off a sock so that it can actually get on the foot, without being totally floppy along the top?  Anybody got a pointer for me?

(L - R):  Dad's socks, Monkey sock1 underway, Sockapalooza 4 sock1 underway (I know, I know!  I need to get crackin'!)

For Want of a Seam Ripper

Since my last sewing-related posting, I have ordered (and received) fabric for The Duro,

almost finished a circle skirt from Sew What! Skirts, made it about 2/3 through the Butterick 4790 "Walk-away" dress, and prepared a lovely cotton pima jersey for its date with destiny:  Very Vogue 8379.

Now I'm stalled...for lack of a seam ripper!  I need to adjust the shoulder seams on the Butterick, and I don't like the ties on the circle skirt.  But I have no seam ripper!  What kind of sewstress am I?  Note:  I do more than seams, so "seamstress" isn't exactly applicable, and I don't like the term "sewer" - though I've seen it buzzing around blogland a lot lately, so I'm going for the feminine version of "one who sews":  sewstress.  I hope that Erin would be proud.  :-)  As it was, I didn't even realize I needed tracing paper or a little marking wheel until I had cut out the Butterick.  Thankfully, I had some marking chalk on hand, but it's a rather clunky wedge of chalk, not a fine-pointed marker.  Sigh.   I had completely forgotten about those handy tools until it was time to mark bust darts, etc.  I had also forgotten how much prep work is involved in an otherwise-easy-to-make dress.  :-)

Clearly a trip to the fabric store is in order (again).  Once I do a little rip here and a little rip there, I'll be ready to take a couple of photos of some fun dresses and skirts!

I have this weekend O-F-F, so hopefully I can get some knitting accomplished, as well.  I pretty much just want to sew and knit these days.  I think that all my domesticity is being expressed through fiber arts, since I have not been able to cook or otherwise use a kitchen for almost three months...remember this?  Now it looks like this:

We've come a long way, baby!

Was It Something I Said?

Today, while walking to the studio, I was involved in two separate one-sided greetings.  I am baffled by this phenomena, especially considering that we live in a pretty "neighborly" neighborhood.  If you've never experienced a one-sided greeting, it goes something like this:

I see that someone is walking toward me on the sidewalk.  I time my hello just as they're near enough to see my smile and hear my greeting.

Me:  "Good afternoon."
Them:  silencelookawaysilencekeepwalkingsilencedon'tmakeeyecontactsilence
Me (to myself) "Huh."  some amount of shoulder shrugging/eye rolling/grimacing often accompanies this

I am particularly floored by these encounters because so many folks (myself included) bemoan the passing of common courtesy.  Generally speaking, if one is within earshot of someone else whose path one will soon cross, it is considered polite to offer a greeting.  Heck, I come from a place where complete strangers driving by will wave at you if you're sitting on your porch!  I know that some people are shy, but really...shyness does not excuse you from being polite.

I continue greeting people, even in the face of such blatant ignoring, because I value courtesy.  I believe it is a demonstration of self-respect, as well as respect for others, to be polite to one another.  I also believe in being the change I wish to see and, therefore, strive to set an example of polite behavior as much as possible.

Has anyone out there experienced this?  Does it dismay you or motivate you to continue being polite?