I have been working on a theory recently. This is my process of flushing out the details of an observation or thought. A realization comes to me after observing a recurring theme in people's behavior. I mull it over for awhile and watch to see if it seems to be present in a wider section of people, under what circumstances, etc. I talk about it with my family, friends and students, and wait to see if the theory I'm working on seems to be a concept that folks "get". Right now the theory is about humans' tendency to externalize our experiences and, therefore, our Selves.
As a yoga teacher (and a bona fide people watcher) I see this often, particularly in my yoga classes. Yoga is a practice of increasing awareness in general, but particularly of one's Self - observing (without judgment) one's habits, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. and discerning whether or not they are leading one closer to, or further from, one's Self (the Spirit, Soul, Spark of Divine, Light...our "essence" has many names). This is a lifelong practice, and one that creates a fertile environment for change and growth.
In the asana (yoga pose) practice, people experience new feelings and do things with their bodies that they never imagined doing. Immediately following a new experience, there is often a quiet pause during which students regain their balance/composure...the ideal doorway to deeper introspection. Very often, however, this quiet reflection quickly gives way to excitement, and rather than continuing to go inward to fully experience and incorporate the new feeling/experience, students begin to bubble over and gush.
It isn't always a gush, of course, some of us are gushier than others. It is often, however, at least a class-wide twitterpation. People look around - eyes wide and bright - and start to smile broadly and look at their classmates to see if anyone else felt what they did. Whispers, giggles, and even guffaws follow as folks compare experiences and try to assess if what they felt was "normal". Their excitement is palpable, and as a teacher I am pleased with their discoveries. I wait. I watch. I listen. I let them follow this course for a bit and then I interrupt...this is a wonderful teaching opportunity, after all.
I explain that the Purna Yoga practice is one of going inward before we go outward. We learn to integrate Spirit into matter, bringing more of our Selves into our bodies, and observing how that embodiment of the Divine aspect affects everything we do. In the asana practice, if we do not take the time to let things sink in, to observe the affect of each pose on the body, mind, spirit and awareness, we shortchange ourselves. Turning to others for confirmation or validation of one's experience builds a deeper trust in other people's interpretations of one's experiences, rather than building trust in one's own perceptions. We must strive to go inward to deepen the connection between mind, body and spirit. This will unfold into deeper connections with other people from a healthy, independent, free place instead of an insecure, needy, dependent place.
Of course, the other side of the theory is that it is important to connect with others...and sharing one's experiences, interests, happiness, sadness, and loss is part of that. What I want to encourage in my students is the process of choosing to go inward before making those connections. Let your Self experience first, let go of the need to compare your experience with those of others, and then share. You may find that some of the initial enthusiasm has worn off, but that you have reached a more integrated understanding of what you felt. You will share from equanimity, rather than jittery enthusiasm lacking in true understanding of what it meant to you. We can all learn from each other, but only if we each learn from our Selves first.
