Seattle Yogini

A Simple Yes or No Will Do

I'm back from the San Francisco Yoga Journal Conference, and boy was it great!  I'll share bits and pieces of it over the next few days...it can take awhile for things to marinate/integrate/ruminate enough to make sense.

To start with, I want to share an anecdote from my travels on Friday.  I had a 9:30am flight, and because I am not so good at figuring out how long it will take me to get somewhere (especially when rush hour traffic is involved), I took a cab at 7am for the airport.  That got me there at 7:30.  Sigh.  I had printed up my boarding pass the day before, so all I had to do was check my luggage, go through the (short) security line and then sit around for approximate 1.75 hours until boarding time.

It just so happened that I was in the concourse that houses The Massage Bar, so I decided to get a 30-minute chair massage to pass the time and ease me into a more comfortable state for flying.  The woman who worked on me was great.  I had told her that my SI (Sacro-Iliac Joint) was a bit "slippery" and achey, and she gave my tightened-up-to-hold-me-together hip muscles a good working.

Even better than the body work she offered, though, were these learning experiences:

She suggested that as soon as we finished I should do some stretches for my hip flexors.  She asked if I knew how to do that.  In my head I thought, "Yes, of course I do.  I'm a yogini and teacher after all." but I responded with a simple "Yes, I do."  I blew it!  I totally missed an opportunity to see what her suggestions for stretching my hip flexors would be.  Sure, I know a lot of techniques to "get in there", but that doesn't mean that she has nothing to offer me...or I her.

Then she asked if I do any Pilates.  If you aren't familiar with Pilates, it is a well-known and well-respected method for toning the body - the core muscles in particular.  I knew that she was inferring core work, which of course we do a lot of in yoga asanas (poses), so I lifted my head a bit and said "No, but I'm a yoga teacher."

What kind of an answer is that?

I didn't even begin to answer her question, which only required a simple "yes" or "no".  Talk about the ego slipping in there!  As soon as I said it I thought, "What the heck was that about?  That's twice I haven't been receptive."  Thankfully, very humbled and embarrassed, I managed to diplomatically inquire as to her thoughts on Pilates, if there was a local studio or teacher she could recommend, etc.  I didn't want to miss another opportunity to learn from her, and I'm glad that I chose that course because she did, in fact, share some interesting information.

So the first thing I learned from this trip is that just because I have a heightened sense of self-observation doesn't mean that I shouldn't continue to develop it.  You could say that even though my sensory net is wide and dense, there are still holes where things slip through.  This woman's gift to me was the opportunity to see how I was moving around that morning from my ego's limited sense of "self" (i.e. I am Kelly, I am a yogini, I am a teacher) rather than radiating my bigger "Self" (i.e.  I am We, We all have gifts...here some of "mine", what are "yours"?).

Yoga Conference

I leave tomorrow morning for San Francisco, where I will attend the 5th Annual Yoga Journal Conference.  I'm really looking forward to it, not only as a time to focus on my practice and growth, but also as a chance to work with a couple of new-to-me teachers, reconnect with some old friends, and see a new city!

"Conference" makes it sound like a bunch of yogis sitting around watching slide shows and discussing the future of yoga.  I think that a better term for an event such as this would be "Convention", which indicates booths, stuff to see and do, more all-around involvement.

I'll be attending three 2-hour classes per day, starting Saturday with an 8 - 10am women-only class with Seane Corn.  You may have seen her picture, even if you don't know the name.  She's a recently well-known yogini, teacher, and activist.  I have never worked with her, and am looking forward to experiencing how she teaches.  At 10:30 I'll have a class with my teacher, Aadil, called "Mastering the Five Winds (Vayus) in Purna Yoga Standing Poses".  This will probably be a sweaty class, if we spend even half of the class in standing poses.  :-)  Thankfully there's a nice long break until the afternoon session, so I can freshen up, eat a light lunch, catch the Keynote Address, "Power to the Peaceful" and turn in my photos for the Yoga Journal Model Call.  At 3:30 I'll have the honor of hearing Aadil give a talk entitled "God and the Universe", which will be physically restful, but with plenty for my spirit (and probably my mind) to munch on.

I have all evening free, and then start again bright and early Sunday morning with another new-to-me teacher, Suzanne Sterling.  She's a singer and is offering "Wake Up and Sing!", in which I'll get to "learn about the power and beauty of sound, and explore ways to use chanting as a tool to enhance [my] yoga and [my] life."  Cool, eh?  Come 10:30, I'll be back with Aadil, working on twists and backbends (yay!) for a couple of hours.  At lunch time there'll be a discussion panel which I'm really looking forward to, "Women in Yoga".  My afternoon class will be with Shiva Rea and it's another women-only class ("Yogini:  Living Shakti for Women").

On Monday I will work intensively with Aadil all day, exploring the myriad therapeutic tools Purna Yoga offers those living with high blood pressure.  It will essentially be an "above and beyond" workshop based upon his chapter in the recently-released book, Yoga As Medicine.  Later that evening I catch the next-to-last flight home, and get to ruminate in all the wonderful stuff I learned during my down time throughout the week.

If that sounds like a busy, but delightful weekend....it will be!  There'll be another one like it (different topics, but many of the same teachers participate) in Boston this coming May.  Every year, Yoga Journal offers a bigger, longer conference in Estes Park, Colorado.  These conferences are not just for teachers, they're for anyone who wants to more deeply (or broadly, as the case may be) explore yoga practices, lineages and traditions.  Every conference even has a "Beginner's Track", a class schedule full of introductory-level classes.  Of course, there are also "Teacher Tracks" for those who are working on continuing education credits, certification, etc.

Hopefully I'll have some fun pictures to share.  I'll try to remember the camera.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Pavlov's Person

One of the most challenging, and rewarding, practices of yoga is self-observation (Svadhyaya in sanskrit; what we call "self-study").  Having the compassion, patience and discipline to honestly watch - without judgment - my own habits, reactions, tendencies (all samskaras.  Remember those?) can be painful, but it is also eye- and heart-opening.

In the spirit of sharing a personal example of the work of self-study, I offer the following anecdote:

The other day, whilst preparing the dog's dinner, I realized how trained I am to respond to beeps/rings/alarms/buzzes.  There I am, chopping up meat and vegetables, spooning up the cottage cheese.  The Buddy's drooling, poor guy, as I carefully go about the business of preparing his meal.  I'm almost done, in fact I'm at the point of portioning out the next morning's meal (after which point he'll get to eat what's left in his bowl for his evening meal), when I hear the buzz buzz buzzing of the dryer.

Immediately my mind goes "Oh!  The dryer!  I should run downstairs real quick and get those clothes out of the dryer."  Finishing what I'm doing will only take another minute, at most, but in my mind the buzzing has created a reaction of "Ack!  A buzzer!  Hurry!  Hurry!  Hurry!  It must be important!".  At the moment my brain registered the buzz, the dryer took priority over the hungry dog.  Thankfully, as soon as I recognized that immediate (and ridiculous) reaction, the part of me that is bigger than my mind gently said "Stop.  Take a moment to see what you're doing.  Do you really want to live at the mercy of buzzers?"

My answer was swift and easy.  The dog was fed and later, when I eventually tended to the clothes, I proceeded to turn the dryer's buzzer off...permanently.  :-)

A Matter of Priorities

As a general rule, I don't make resolutions at the new year.  Instead, I take regular account of my behavior, actions, words, etc. and make adjustments as needed.  Once a year is simply not often enough, not when it comes to something as important as my life, my well-being and my growth.

The new year happened to coincide with some big realizations on my part, and so it is a merry coincidence that I am writing this post just nine days after the new year celebrations.  This past fall was a time of great  personal, spiritual and physical upheaval for me.  I faced some deep, old wounds and gained valuable insight into a path for healing.  Gaining insight is not the same as taking the first step on that path, however, and it took me a few more months of meditation, introspection and prayer in order to get to (what I think is) the root of the problem, and then decide to take action.

Changing my life in a way to facilitate this healing is akin to the big decision to leave a relationship...even though one has known the relationship needed to be dissolved for a loooooooong time.  Knowing and doing are two different things.  This grasshopper had a good reminder of that last year.  :-)

Anyway, for me it comes down to priorities.  There are very few things which are truly, radically important in my life.  In a nutshell, the priority is my continuing evolution toward the manifestation of the Divine in all aspects of my life.  This work requires discipline, action, observation, peace, non-judgement, and a host of other valuable qualities.  Some of the results of even the slightest bit of growth in this area include improved relationships (with loved ones, with myself, with the environment, with strangers, with the Divine, etc.), more peacefulness, greater empathy and compassion, improved well-being.

While I hold this priority high intellectually, I have not been behaving as if it were the most important and amazing thing in my life.  As a result, I constantly had the feeling that there were a ton of things I needed to get done, and that I'd never get around to it all and, therefore, everything would end up falling apart around me.  Aside:  How's that for ramped up and a bit out of touch with the reality of the situation? I felt overwhelmed by my day-to-day responsibilities and dissatisfied...even when I tackled a lengthy to-do list.  It was like death by a thousand paper cuts.

So I had a lot of sit-downs with myself, probing around to figure out the root of my dissatisfaction.  After all, I have my dream job, my dream life...what was there to be upset about?

Here's what I realized:  because I was not actually putting my so-called priority at the top of my ever-present to-do list, what I claimed was the most important thing to me was not being fully done/expressed/experienced/etc.  Instead, every day I tackled the mundane things that keep an everyday life going:  laundry, bills, cleaning house and studio, business accounts, etc., etc., etc.  But even when those things were done, I wasn't sitting down and addressing my true priority.  Instead, I would zone out with a movie, or a game, or something else that suddenly felt pressing, mostly out of a feeling of tired, but sometimes out of pure laziness.  All of the "little things" were constantly jostling for first place on my list, while the true priority waited patiently in spite of its ever-lowering status on the list.  It was not a conscious decision to ignore my priority, mind you.  I always told myself that I'd get to it...it being meditation, study of spiritual texts, my asana practice, my pranayama practice, quiet time, prayer, etc...but in reality a smaller "busy task" would almost always pop up and steal the show.  Or, rather, I'd give the show away, audience, popcorn and all.

So I have decided to put my priority back in its rightful spot.  Of course the tasks of everyday life will still need to be addressed.  If I undertake each item on my to-do list as an act of devotion, however, then it is transformed from mundane into an integral component of my spiritual practice.  If, rather than waiting until I'm pooped out at the end of the day to sit down with a spiritual text and study, I do it as early in the day as I can, then I have the rest of the day to joyfully marinate in its wisdom and grace.  If each night before bed I take a few moments to quietly thank all of Creation, and the Creator itself, for the day that I had - ups and downs and in-betweens, then I will get to a healthier balance in my life.

To that end, I have taken up an interesting new practice.  I'll reveal more about it in the upcoming days, as it will involve another blog specific to its content.  Stay tuned for details!