As you might imagine, my weekend at the Trust Birth Conference included lots of birth videos. It was wonderful and inspiring to see the miracle of birth in so much varied detail. I was very thankful to have been able to attend all of the classes that I wanted. Even better, the classes that I was interested in but did not choose will be available for purchase and download from the website in the next week or so. Yay!
I can't really say what topic was most interesting, because for me they all worked synergistically to form a clearer picture of how I want my birthing experience(s) to be. It felt like a re-education as I let go of the socially created fear around pregnancy and childbirth and gathered into my heart these amazing examples of how pregnancy and birth can be. As Karen Strange, CPM says, "It's meant to work, even if nobody's there to 'help'." It's a simple enough statement, but totally mind-blowing when we are taught (implicitly and overtly) that pregnancy is uncomfortable and birth is a marathon in which a great deal of pain is to be expected. What if each "is" were replaced with "might"? What if we emphasized that it "might" be joyful, intense, quick and experienced with ease? How would our perspectives shift?
As we discussed in "Believe Your Way to a Better Birth" with Laura Shanley, if you expect it to be hard, you create more potential for it to be that way. Our thoughts are very powerful, and just as we can make a bad situation worse by having a dismal attitude, we can create sweet outcomes by focusing on the positive in our situation. As a yogini, this really resonated with me. Of course we can create our reality - not necessarily (though quite possibly) by thinking certain things to change the situation (which is how detractors portray it) but rather by changing our own perspective, and therefore our experience of the situation. This was very powerful reinforcement for me in terms of letting go of the fear of what a future pregnancy might be like for me. The truth is I can't know, but I can create the best possible circumstances and keep my mind away from fear (and the adrenalin it releases), focusing on the wonder instead.
I learned a lot about the perineum. There is a great deal of debate in the birthing community about the degree to which the perineum needs to be "prepared" for delivery (through prenatal perineal massage, for example). In addition, people have numerous opinions on what (if any) perineal interventions should be practiced, such as hot- or cold-packs, oil massage, counter-pressure, etc. A panel discussion called "Don't Push Me: Physiologic Pushing" helped me understand this even better. If a laboring woman allows her body to do the pushing (which it will...an undrugged woman really doesn't need to be told to push, and generally the "ring of fire" will slow down her urges to push just when it's time to back off) then the body can orchestrate and organize its efforts in a way that creates an optimal outcome. So, by allowing the process to unfold, rather than clinging to the need to control or guide it, the body is more likely to soften and open in the right places at the right time - because it's designed to do this! Note: If you read both of those links, you'll see what I'm talking about regarding the debate in the community. The first link says that prenatal perineal massage is shown to help prevent tearing, while the second link says it isn't necessarily helpful. These were just the top google result for each entry, I didn't look for discord.
Prenatal testing: Oh My Goodness! It's amazing how the more technology we develop, the more we want to use it. Since I am now what some would consider a contender for future "high risk" pregnancy (due to my ectopic pregnancy), most practitioners would probably want to do an ultrasound on me as soon as there's anything to see....just to make sure that everything is in the right place this time. I suppose this is intended to reassure me, but the truth is that I don't like this idea at all. There are risks to ultrasound, and just because it's routinely used doesn't mean that it's actually safe. The degree to which obstetric technology is tested before implementation is reprehensible. Effectively, each woman is a test-subject when she submits to these "routine" screenings or other procedures (particularly drugs, some of which even say not to be used during pregnancy! Argh!). I, for one, am not interested in advancing science...I'm interested in advancing my relationship to my baby. Seeing my pregnancy and my baby as representing a danger to me is not productive to this goal. Yes, I could have another ectopic, but there's just as much chance (if not more) that I won't! Anyway based upon my last experience, I'm quite confident that I will know well before any imaging technology can "prove" it to me.
I learned so much in "Baby's Experience of Birth", which really helped me develop even more compassion for a just-born babe. Karen Strange gave a great analogy, which I would like to share here in my own words: Imagine that you're in one of those sensory deprivation tanks. You're in body-temperature water, so you can't tell where you end and the water begins. It's a closed tank, so you're in total darkness and really can't hear anything but your own heartbeat. There is nothing to smell, and nothing to taste. You stay here, relaxing into the quiet and feeling your body float gently in this warm, enclosed space. Now, on the outside, a group of friends has gathered to welcome you out! They've got all the lights on so that they can see your face when you appear. Someone is burning scented candles to create more "atmosphere". There's music playing and they're ready with cameras, video equipment, and towels. You slowly open the lid to the tank, and a beam of bright light shines right into your eyes, making you see stars. You feel the cool air hit your skin at about the same time you hear loud noises as people's exclamations and the music fill your head all at once. You step out of the tank on wobbly legs, trying to get your equilibrium, when a very strong smell fills your nose. Suddenly people start rubbing you with towels, patting you on the back, you feel hands pushing you this way and that. How might that feel? Would you not consider either climbing right back into that tank or, at the very least, crying your eyes out? This is the a true example of shock. Now, granted, this is an adult version of what the birthing experience might be like. Our nervous systems are much more mature than a newborns, and you would be able to adapt very quickly as you realize that the strong smell is familiar (lavender), that the hands are of your loved ones. You would probably begin to feel at ease relatively quickly. You recognize that the music playing is your favorite CD and that the bright light was just the flash of a camera. Babies don't know any of this, though. Of course babies are highly adaptable, but information overload is information overload...and a new baby doesn't have any frame of reference for all of this commotion. It's no wonder their little faces crunch up into a "put me back" face!
My notebook has pages of notes. In some areas, I've put stars next to things that I want to remember for my future birthing experience. There are notes for terms I want to look up. I have a page of book recommendations, and notes to myself about changes I want to make for my prenatal yoga classes. Later this week I will write about the much more intimate experience of the "Life After Loss" class (for that link, click on "midwifery", and "early loss" to read more), which was the culmination of the weekend for me and the reason that I felt so strongly that I needed to go to this conference.
I look forward to incorporating the lessons I learned this weekend, and what I will continue to learn as I research, start reading the recommended books, and create my own expression of the basic belief that (as Carla Hartley says) "Birth is Safe, Intervention is Risky."
P.s. Of course there are situations for which we can be thankful that we have life-saving technology. My issue is not with any use of technology, but rather with its routine use and the failure to recognize that we end up creating the need for "life saving" through many preliminary interventions. I take issue with the general treatment of pregnancies/birthing as an emergency waiting to happen. This attitude is, I believe, detrimental to the main people involved - mama and baby. In most of the world, childbirth is considered a natural, normal thing (not something that needs to be "fixed" along the way). In the US, however, we use more technological interventions and continue to have the highest infant- and mother-mortality rates of all developed countries. One can only conclude that our fervor for technology is not resulting in improved outcomes, no matter how much we wish it would.
Comments