The 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training Course that I am teaching is in the midst of a week-long intensive. I planned the schedule that way, knowing that the week would be...well, intense, and fruitful, educational, even life-changing for the teachers-in-training. It is during a yoga intensive that practitioners get the opportunity to immerse themselves in the full effects of a yoga (not merely asana) practice. It is mentally tiring - they're learning how to teach alignment-based yoga, after all. It requires training in anatomy, a detailed understanding of the instructions for, benefits of, contraindications to, and how to modify each pose I'm teaching.
More than the mental stimulation, however, they're getting a lot of practice in. They are learning more about their bodies and minds as they go through this process of learning to "see" and teach others' bodies than their previous years of classes/home practice combined have offered. They're meditating for half an hour everyday. We have philosophy discussions, teaching methodology, and lots of "go practice teaching this to each other". They get to follow me around the room as I teach a class, seeing what it's like from the teacher's perspective.
Add all of that up, and the result is an amazing opportunity for one's stuff to come up. This can manifest as moodiness, emotional/mental/physical fatigues, physical aches and pain, and increased sensitivity. By sensitivity I don't mean "Oooo, you hurt my feelings!", which is merely the ego at play, but rather an increased ability to perceive - with all six senses. They are much more aware of their surroundings, their inner environment, other people's energy, messages in media, etc., because they are doing this work (yoga) which is designed to hone the nervous system and nurture the human body, mind and spirit complex.
This can be a tough realization to go through. One typically enters a teacher training, or a "yoga retreat"/intensive with ideas of blissful self-discovery. While a path of true self-discovery does lead to bliss as one discovers one's true nature - that of the Divine energy within - the process itself requires the removal of a bunch of weeds, felled trees, the occasional dog poo, etc. etc. We have to clear the gunk out of our bodies, minds, and lives, in order to get to that bliss that is our birthright. We put the gunk there, and we're the ones who have to see it, decide if it's serving us or not, and shovel it off our path! It takes a great deal of work, dedication, compassion and LOVE to do this work. When one is in the middle of an intense period of shoveling, however, and covered in metaphorical sweat, dirt, and insect bites, one may begin to wonder if it was "supposed to be this hard".
There is no answer to that question. How "hard" it is depends upon all the choices one has made (and continues to make) in one's life. How much stuff comes up depends upon how much is in there and how much one "gets out of the way" so that it can make its way out. Yoga helps us get out of our own way, and direct our energies toward the union of spirit in matter (the body).
I am so humbled and honored to be witness to (and the trailguide for) these students' discoveries. I remember feeling just the kinds of things they're feeling (heck, sometimes I still feel like that). I am thankful to be of service as a reassurance that - while nobody can promise it will be easy - there is a Light at the end of the tunnel. Stay focused on that Light, let it shine more broadly within you, and all will be as it should.
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