This is a photo of the new lace shawl that I am working on...intended as an August 15 gift for my teacher, Mirra. That yarn is just a teeny bit heftier than thread. My plan is to knit at least two pattern repeats per day. That's 6 rows per pattern repeat, and each row is progressively longer. Right now it takes me about 30 minutes to do an entire 6 rows, but it will take progressively longer to meet my goal as the shawl grows.
This newest "knitting under deadline" project comes at an interesting time. For the last two weeks or so I have been focused - in my meditation, my prayer, and in daily living - on surrendering attachment to my plans, time lines, goals and generally having things my way.
I harbor resentment for plans I laid many years ago that are not working out the way that I wanted. This resentment is getting in the way.
When I can let go of the plan - and the residual resentment for what appears unfulfilled - I have clarity for the beautiful plan of the Divine. I can see that there is a path for me that is much more beautiful than what I tried to create on my own. I don't always understand the path or the plan, but I have faith that as I learn to surrender my plans, I will feel the inner guidance toward greater plans and loftier goals.
My plans were created by my mind, not by my heart.
I want to live from my heart. In order to better do that, I must continually practice stilling and silencing my mind, my ego, those inner voices that lay out plans, goals and time lines that are self-serving rather than Self/God/Creation-serving.
I don't know if I will be able to complete this shawl in the amount of time I believe that I have. I do know, however, that I will finish it. It will be gifted in its time. Along the way I will continue to practice letting go of that plan. Each opportunity to practice helps in the bigger struggle of releasing bigger attachments.
And if it's late? Well, I know that Mirra will understand.
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