Well, for one thing, it's an assignment for my Counseling class this quarter. But after reading the article upon which the assignment is based, it sounds like just the kind of kick-starter I want to get this year off to a good start. Incidentally, if you have access to a paper copy of The Sun and can read the whole article, please take the time to dig it up, sit down, and read it in its entirety. It is worth every minute.
The article is an interview with Barbra Fredrickson, a psychologist who does research on positive thought. Some tidbits from the article that I found particularly supportive:
“There’s a famous paper in psychology called ‘Happy but Mindless?’ which suggests that people who are happy are somehow bubble-headed softies, not critical of the world and therefore not intellectuals. I think that’s a distorted stereotype that highly critical people cultivate to justify their own negativity.”
“Being positive or negative isn’t about being smart or dumb; it’s about thinking broadly or narrowly. Whether thinking broadly is useful or not depends on the situation you’re in. It’s just a different style of thinking. In some circumstances it can help you be more creative.”
“...we’ve found that negativity is required for flourishing...Denying the negative and painting on the positive is unhealthy, and anybody who makes it their goal never to express a negative emotion quickly drives everyone away from them, because we know their positivity isn’t real.”
That last bit may raise some eyebrows among my yoga friends and colleagues, but it really resonates with me. It gets to the heart of the issue, which is authenticity. Everyone experiences hard times and of course we can endeavor to look at the bright side. That said, to deny the existence of pained feelings, to brush them away with a positive-thought-broom before we even get a chance to truly feel them, is to deny a part of the human existence...an existence for which we have all, apparently, signed up. (For more on the importance of honoring sadness, look for Thomas Moore's book, Dark Nights of the Soul).
I choose to take a generally positive outlook on life. That does not mean that I don't allow myself to feel pain. Frankly, anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile has read about some of my pain. I agree with Fredrickson, however, that striving for a ratio of 3 (or more) positive feelings to each single "negative" feeling is enough to get out of the negative feedback loop in which so many people are stuck. If there is a "magic number" for shifting to a life of contentment, it seems to be 3:1.
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Okay, so my positivity project. There were so many ideas offered in class, all intriguing. Things like keeping a daily gratitude journal (feeling gratitude helps us to feel positive - and humble - after all), spending 30 minutes outside each day (this week I'm really glad that I didn't choose that one!), spending time each day in quiet contemplation (a.k.a. prayer, meditation, or reflection), and writing weekly thank you notes to people in your life. I liked all of these, but I also wanted to tie this project in with my Improvement Goal (also for this class, and I'll write about it next week).
I choose to dance for half an hour every day.
I feel most me when I am moving, and when I am dancing in particular. I feel joyful, powerful, loved and loving. I feel strong, fluid and graceful. I feel poised, disciplined, and beautiful. These feelings especially apply to my bellydancing, but really as long as I get a chance to shake it every day I know that my overall sense of having had a "good day" will increase.
As a member of Nomatitude I know that I'll dance for about 90 minutes on Tuesdays at troupe rehearsal and 60 minutes on Thursdays in class. I am not limiting my project to bellydancing though. On some days, the dancing will come in the form of shakin' it around my living room. On others, it will be a Zumba class. Hell, maybe I'll finally try a Nia class. The point is that every day I will carve out some time - at intervals if I can't do it all at once - to move my body in a way that says:
"welcome home, Arya".